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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

wonder

(waiting for the rain to fall)

We are heading out of town early for the weekend. I meant to take pictures of my latest sewing project to share with you before we left, but laundry, errands, and rain clouds rolling in put my plans on hold. Next week.

Instead, I would like to share some of my recent thoughts and feelings... During this trip, Husband and I will be away from both girls overnight for the first time since Lark was born (just one night). I am a little nervous, but also proud and excited to have reached a point where leaving Lark for a short time is possible. I am still nursing her morning and night, but she has slowly dropped her day feedings over the last few weeks. This year of nursing went by so incredibly fast I am not sure I am ready for it to end. I am hoping to be able to continue nursing her for a while after this trip, but knowing her weaning is most likely imminent is filling me with bittersweet emotion.

As for my oldest, she is growing up so fast I feel like I need to hug her every five seconds to hold onto her and make her stay little forever (and I pretty much do). The other night I looked at a family picture we took exactly one year ago today when LM was 2 1/2 and Lark was 2 months old. My eyes unexpectedly filled with tears as I realized I will never get to hold that sweet and spunky 2 1/2 year old again. After a good cry followed by laughing through my tears while reminiscing about baby LM with Husband, I snuck into the girls room and sat on the floor and covered her sweet sleeping face in kisses. I thought my heart would burst.

This mama business is keeping my emotions on the brink lately, in the best possible way. I never could have imagined how wonderful motherhood would be. I think this week I reached a new level of wonder.     



2 comments:

  1. Oh girl, I am so there with you. My big girl is almost 4, so smart and tall and leggy, that I actually liked it when she got sick last week so I could take care of her like a baby. I was watching video of her at the age her brother is now, and it doesn't feel that long ago. As for the little one, I'm also going on a trip next week, and though I've been away from him before and he has picked up nursing again no problem, I think this will be the end...and he's probably our last baby too. Sigh. So anyway...I know just how you feel. Hugs. Enjoy your trip. :)

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  2. A friend of mine sent me a link to one of your tutorials, and I started reading your blog. I love it! This post says it in a nutshell for me. I too, have two daughters. One is four, and one is almost a year. It's bittersweet to look at past photos of my oldest. I have to start thinking about school, and that makes me want to cry. I have friends that couldn't wait till their children were in school, and I don't understand it. Now people are constantly asking me when I'm going to stop breastfeeding my baby. I tell them I'll stop when she's ready. She is still comforted by it, and she will let me know when she's done. We americans seem to have to schedule every little thing in our lives. Like Kristin, I am secretly a little bit happy when my oldest is sick and I can baby her. The baby and toddler years go by so fast, we have to enjoy every single minute!

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