Tuesday, September 20, 2011

six months later

Nursing Lark at 6 weeks
Over the past six months I have thought a lot about my experience giving birth to Lark. Almost every day I sit in the same chair where I spent a good portion of my time laboring, and nurse her while I remember that long night and thank God I got to experience something so magical.

When I wrote my birth story I hadn't had time to really process the whole amazing experience. At that point I hardly believed it had happened myself. I wanted to record the details before I forgot them, and I am happy that I did, but really it is just a story about facts. A timeline leading up to the point where I finally held my sweet baby girl in my arms.

What is missing from the story I will never be able to properly put into words. The feelings and emotions I experienced are so special to me I don't know that I should even try. I put my trust in my body and my baby, handed all of my fear and weakness over to God, embraced birth in every way possible, and in return felt only love instead of pain. It was an incredible, beautiful experience that I will forever be grateful for and never be the same because of... and I am so happy that I get to be reminded of it every day when I look into her clear blue eyes.

I suppose hitting the half way to a year mark is making me feel nostalgic, and I needed to acknowledge those tender feelings my birth story is lacking. I pray that I will be blessed with more children and get to experience similar births again. Oh, that I would be so lucky.

4 comments:

  1. i just read your birth story, and have to say a giant thank you. we recently moved and, not knowing when exactly i'll get pregnant again, but also knowing that it will be soon, i've been looking into where and how i want to have our next baby. i, like you, wanted to do it naturally the first time, but due to a whole host of complications, mostly that i was stressed out beyond belief and wasn't dialating past a 3, i ended up getting an epidural. i still know that it was the right decision under the circumstances, but we have moved to a place that has a nationally recognized birthing center and i would really like to try that next time. your description of how you were able to stay calm and relaxed is a huge encouragement to me, because i know that this will be my biggest challenge with birth next time around, and the key to having a natural and good birth experience.

    all the best, mary

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  2. I too enjoy having babies. I have never been able to have a natural birth and never would, but I do enjoy reading stories.

    My husband and I had been married just 8 months when we found out we were expecting. We lost the baby right before the end of the first trimester. Baby had implanted too far up in my uterus. It's growing tore my a hole in my uterus and lost a tube.

    Years and tears later, I have three beautiful, smart and healthy boys. I'm blessed.

    I am sure God will bless you and your beautiful family with more little Gifts from God.

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  3. what a beautiful post. I have five little babies of my own, and i would do it all over again in a heartbeat....somehow we seem to forget about all the pain of birth and long to go through it again! Your girls are adorable!

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  4. i loved this post. nursing as i type this! life is so much richer as a mom. nellie's birth was more painful than i could have imagined anything being but it was also so incredibly rewarding when she came. and i was so amazed that my body could endure it and that she was so perfect. motherhood is so good!

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