be together

And here we have my children playing together on my bed one morning after I had just finished folding and putting away the laundry. Just a moment of our day-to-day life captured as I was contemplating whether or not we should sand and re-stain the eaves outside our house or perhaps paint them for a similar look to this. I wasn't totally engrossed in this moment watching my children interact, it was just a snapshot, but sometimes seemingly unexceptional photos can end up speaking to your heart. 

We spent the morning doing nothing in particular besides being together which I thought was quite lovely, so during nap time I posted this picture to Instagram (find me @stacyhartsew) to document my thoughts - 

"My favorite mornings are the ones when we stay home and don't do a whole lot other than be together."

And then I thought about it some more. And then I mulled over it all during nap time and while I was falling asleep that night, and suddenly this ordinary snapshot was absolutely beautiful to me. More than just documenting how we spent a lovely low-key morning together, but capturing life exactly how I want to live it.

Simple and uncluttered, being present with my loved ones, keeping up with the inevitable household chores with a happy attitude and a grateful heart. Watching my children play, answering their many questions, listening to them sing or cry, and kissing their bumps and bruises. Reading books, making and cleaning up creative messes, teaching love and forgiveness, and preparing nourishing food to eat - all the simple small things we did that morning could be rolled up into one big beautiful life.

Our mornings are not always this lovely, and my mind set about household chores is not always grateful, and sometimes we need our space from each other, but man, that life is there ready to be lived.

  

expectations

I was going through some pictures and came across these photos of Lark I snapped one afternoon about six months ago. She was singing and dancing on my bed in the vintage tutu her sister once wore almost every day, and I remember thinking, "How does she fit into that already?" These little girls of mine are growing up before my eyes. 

When Lark was born I was expecting a carbon copy of LM to come out (or at least close to it), but when I held her for the first time she looked totally different with all of her own tiny features for me to memorize. And then when her hair finally grew in I was shocked and delighted that it was a beautiful red, just as I was shocked and delighted to discover LM had beautiful curls. 

As Lark has grown every aspect of her spunky and sweet personality has been so fun to watch unfold and compare against her sister. Not in any sort of competitive way, but just as us parents marveling at how our girls are their own little wonderful selves, and finding it funny that in most areas they are complete opposites. So different from each other and yet so alike. 

I can't help but wonder who is coming to join our family now. All of my expectations have been wiped clean since I now know we don't make carbon copy children. I do know we make pretty amazing ones though, and every day they make us smile and keep us on our toes.

I guess I am expecting to, yet again, be surprised.

pear harvest

This year we were better prepared to harvest the fruit trees in our backyard. Last year at this time we were in the thick of the remodel and were sorting through a bunch of rotten apples. Our backyard smelled like rotten fruit and I felt pretty overwhelmed at all of the clean up and pruning our trees needed.

We inherited an old giant pear tree that is half dead and needs a lot of care. Last year when we tried a pear straight off the tree the texture and flavor was so gross I thought maybe the tree was sick and produced bad fruit. I had no idea that pears should never ripen on the tree! Thankfully, this year I did some research and we picked the pears early and let them ripen off the tree and it made all the difference - they were SO good! The taste and texture was delicious, although Lark enjoyed  nibbling on the pears all summer long and didn't seem to mind whether they were ripe or not. ;) We ate our fill and shared a lot with friends and family.

Next year we hope to make our pear harvest turn out even better, these are the types of learning curves I really enjoy.

summer is...

Spending warm evenings at the lake...

Exploring the nature around us...

Cooling off in the backyard (and locking ourselves out of the house)...

Enjoying being together at home...

Going on adventures...

 Relaxing and soaking it all in...

Summer is winding down and we are settling into a new routine. Part of that routine means I get a few hours to myself each day. So far that time has mostly been spent enjoying the quiet and tending to the garden, but I am sure it won't take me long to fill up those hours with shop work (after a looooong break) and a project here or there.

For me this summer has been wonderful and healing in a lot of ways, and hard and humbling in others. I am watching all of the women who were announcing their pregnancies around the same time I was now announcing the birth of their babies. And they are beautiful and I am happy for them, but I can't help but feel a pang in my chest for my empty arms. This summer is closing a hard chapter in my life, but I am leaving it with a heart filled with hope for the next.

a new decade

That guy right there holding an ice cream cake and singing Happy Birthday with gusto while still managing to look totally handsome is a keeper, I tell ya. Today is my birthday, but he surprised me on Saturday with a house packed full of friends and family to celebrate my big 3-0 a few days early. I had no idea he had been planning and scheming behind my back for a full month.

My mom was in cahoots with him to keep me away from the house after I got off work and she played her role perfectly - even when she had to improvise last minute when I got a terrible headache and told her I didn't think I could go shopping. She made us pedicure appointments on her drive over and told me that was my surprise gift, ha! I could certainly sit down and relax, oh, and here are some drugs... ;)

I really wish I got better pictures of the night, but I only got these few I snapped with my phone between conversations. It was a bit overwhelming seeing so many loved ones at once, many of whom I hadn't seen in a long time - high school friends! - and I wanted to sit down and talk to everyone a lot longer than I could, but it was so fun. I couldn't believe how many people showed up, and how hard Husband worked to make it all happen. He even asked everyone to write me a little letter and compiled them into a birthday book for me. It was a wonderful gift I will treasure.

Thanks for a great start to a new decade, honey! And thank you to everyone who wished me well.

our backyard anniversary date

This past weekend Husband and I celebrated our six year wedding anniversary. We decided not to worry about dressing up fancy or giving each other gifts and were both content spending the day doing yard work side by side. We hauled away two truckloads of plant debris (thanks to the help of my dad and his truck), and our flowerbeds are now actually starting to resemble flowerbeds.

The girls had been begging all week to have a camp out with s'mores, so we ended the day around our fire pit for the first time. We have plans to fix it up a bit and probably move it's location, but for now it is a fun gathering spot. We roasted marshmallows and hot dogs, and enjoyed all of the beautiful blossoms that are showing off on our two apple trees and one gigantic pear tree. Our five lilac trees are alllmost in bloom. Afterwards we set the tent up inside for the girls to sleep in and since we left it up they have been enjoying playing in it all week.

It wasn't the most romantic anniversary we have ever had, but it is definitely up there as one of my favorites. We are so happy and grateful for this life we have built and that we have this little piece of land to work on and improve, and most especially spend time together in.

thank you

Thank you for your support about our recent loss. I have been taking time to process it all. I am doing much better although there are still moments when I am overcome with sadness, but I am okay with that... I allow myself a good cry whenever I need it, and I am grateful that I have a husband who can just look at me and know that I need his arms around me and his whisper in my ear that everything is going to be okay. And I know it will be. We are definitely not done having kids.

We have been keeping busy behind the scenes. We are all so excited for the coming Summer months. It has been a chilly start to Spring, but we have had some warm-ish sunny days we took full advantage of with trips to the beach, skateboarding down the driveway, and running through the sprinkler.

With Springs arrival we have turned our attention from working on projects inside the house to working outside in the yard. So far that has meant a lot of clean up. The yard was completely neglected for some time, but you can tell it was once well taken care of and there are pretty daffodils and tulips blooming a midst all of the weeds and overgrowth. We are still not close to being done, but it is shaping up to at least be presentable. I am itching to get our garden plot ready and almost can't wait for those lilac buds I spotted the other day to bloom.

two different bumps

Thank you so much for the excitement and congratulations following our baby news! We are so excited as well and can't wait to discover who is coming to join our family this year. These pictures were taken during week 12 when my baby bump decided to make its grand appearance. I woke up on a Sunday morning and there it was, daring me to try and suck it in. I tried and failed.

I am already planning to dig out my maternity pants and get nice and comfortable. I've decided there is no need to force myself into my regular jeans (even though they can still be buttoned up at this point) just to be reminded of how they don't quite fit the same anymore. At times it's hard for me to think about how much I've worked these past couple of years to get back into shape only to have to do it all over again after this baby, but my past pregnancies I have felt really good in my skin so I am hoping this one will be the same.

To help with this I plan to start exercising once more. With Lark I worked out almost every day until I was 8 months along. That is when I pulled a muscle reaching for something (not even working out!) and had to stop. For the past four years up until we moved I was part of a group of moms in my neighborhood who would meet at the church every morning to exercise. We would bring out the nursery toys for the kids to play with on one side of the gym while we exercised on the other. We did zumba, yoga, circuits, tabata, pilates, and more and always had a great work out... but what made it my favorite part of the day were the conversations. So many women touched my life in that gym through their stories and friendship. It was such a strengthening time for me both physically and spiritually and I really miss it. I won't be able to replace it, but at least I can get off my tush and start moving again and bid a fond farewell to my first trimester laziness.

Lark got a bump all her own a couple of weeks ago as I'm sure you noticed in our baby announcement pictures. She was standing on a chair when it tipped and the edge of the end table caught her fall. I was there and immediately put my hand to her forehead not knowing how bad it was and rushed her upstairs to the bathroom. By the time we got there my arm was covered in blood and when I peeked at the wound for the first time my heart dropped - it was deep and gaping. After panicking, calling Husband to hurry home, and wondering if I should drive her to insta-care bleeding on my lap, I discovered that the blood flow was actually stopping rather quickly and that helped calm me down. She was pretty shaken, but calming down as well so I cleaned us both up, put a band-aid on it, and held her tight. By the time Husband got home she was back to her normal happy self and it no longer seemed urgent, although I still felt sick that my baby was hurt. It was right around dinner time so we made the kids fast and easy grilled cheese sandwiches and then drove to insta-care afterwards.

I was unsuccessfully holding back tears in the waiting room as the scene replayed in my mind, thinking about how I should have gone over there and grabbed her off the chair rather than just telling her to sit down. Then we were called back. They wrapped her in a blanket and began cleaning her laceration and poking her what seemed way too many times with a needle to numb the area. She didn't like that at all and I don't blame her,  it was the worst part for both of us. When the doctor came in we tried to explain to her how he was going to help and she locked eyes brimming with tears on me and I could see that she understood enough to trust us.

While the doctor put in six stitches she held perfectly still.

My brave little baby girl. How I wish I could prevent you from ever being hurt again.

top 50 mom craft blogs

I was taken completely by surprise when an email landed in my inbox last week informing me I had made Babble's Top 50 Mom Craft Blogs of 2013. What an amazing honor. I know there are a lot of insanely creative mothers blogging out there and I am blown away that my little sometimes neglected space made the cut (if barely).

Be sure to check out all of the other talented ladies on the list - to say I was in good company is an understatement. Thank you, Babble!

But most of all thank YOU, for coming to visit me here and letting me share bits and pieces of myself with you. You really are the greatest.

picking pumpkins

We almost didn't make it to a pumpkin patch this year. I feel like I have been saying this a lot lately, but life is busy! I guess that is what happens when you are renovating a house and it is the holidays. But, we did finally manage to squeeze in a short trip to walk around the corn maze and pick out some nice round pumpkins. It was freezing cold, but the girls still had fun and I am glad the tradition went on... See past pumpkin patch trips here, here, and here!